Cesarino
04-07-23, 18:19
A little context:
I'm a cis lesbian woman who just recently got back into the dating scene. I've been using dating apps & I personally thinks it's hurtful to have something like "no trans" on my profile. Plus, I'm more than open to having trans friends (regardless of the gender they transitioned to). But I am not attracted to anyone with male genitalia.
I matched with a woman who was extremely beautiful & we had a lot of mutual interests! I felt like I had finally found someone who I was compatible with, so I asked her out on a date. The chemistry was fantastic in person, it felt like I was catching up with an old friend rather than meeting a stranger for the first time.
Halfway through our date, she disclosed that she's transgender and has had top surgery but isn't sure if she'll ever have bottom surgery. She said that even though she passes as a cis female, she's not comfortable disclosing that she's trans on her dating profile due to fear of rejection. I was shocked, but not visibly because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I told her that I'm very happy that she felt comfortable enough sharing that with me & she should always feel safe enough to be who she is around me. We continued on with the date & even had a few drinks afterwards just enjoying each others company really.
At the end of our date, when we were both chatting by our vehicles, she invited me to come back to her place. I told her, "I would love to be your friend but I don't think we should pursue a romantic relationship." She was visibly hurt :( she asked why, I said I didn't think we were compatible. But she kept pushing, deflecting every answer I gave her until I gave in said it was due to her genitalia. She broke down crying, asking why people won't accept her for who she is. I told her that there is someone out there for her who will love her exactly the way she wants to be loved. I apologized for not being that person, but I would love to still be her friend. She switched up, getting angry & calling me a TERF, then got in her vehicle & left.
I felt so bad, I never want to make anyone feel terrible about themselves, I know what that feels like. I really need to know .. AITAH?
I'm a cis lesbian woman who just recently got back into the dating scene. I've been using dating apps & I personally thinks it's hurtful to have something like "no trans" on my profile. Plus, I'm more than open to having trans friends (regardless of the gender they transitioned to). But I am not attracted to anyone with male genitalia.
I matched with a woman who was extremely beautiful & we had a lot of mutual interests! I felt like I had finally found someone who I was compatible with, so I asked her out on a date. The chemistry was fantastic in person, it felt like I was catching up with an old friend rather than meeting a stranger for the first time.
Halfway through our date, she disclosed that she's transgender and has had top surgery but isn't sure if she'll ever have bottom surgery. She said that even though she passes as a cis female, she's not comfortable disclosing that she's trans on her dating profile due to fear of rejection. I was shocked, but not visibly because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I told her that I'm very happy that she felt comfortable enough sharing that with me & she should always feel safe enough to be who she is around me. We continued on with the date & even had a few drinks afterwards just enjoying each others company really.
At the end of our date, when we were both chatting by our vehicles, she invited me to come back to her place. I told her, "I would love to be your friend but I don't think we should pursue a romantic relationship." She was visibly hurt :( she asked why, I said I didn't think we were compatible. But she kept pushing, deflecting every answer I gave her until I gave in said it was due to her genitalia. She broke down crying, asking why people won't accept her for who she is. I told her that there is someone out there for her who will love her exactly the way she wants to be loved. I apologized for not being that person, but I would love to still be her friend. She switched up, getting angry & calling me a TERF, then got in her vehicle & left.
I felt so bad, I never want to make anyone feel terrible about themselves, I know what that feels like. I really need to know .. AITAH?