Here is a short satirical text about Erdogan in the style of Bill Hicks:
Hey, how you doing? I'm Bill Hicks and I'm here to talk about the president of Turkey, Recep Tayyip Erdogan. You know him, right? The guy who looks like a cross between Gollum and Dracula. Yeah, that guy.
He's been in power for 20 years now, and he's done some amazing things. Like invading Syria, cracking down on protesters, jailing journalists, and turning Turkey into an Islamic dictatorship. He's a real peach, isn't he?
But you know what? He's not all bad. He's also a former soccer player, a seller of bread, and a lover of poetry. He even wrote some poems himself. Here's one he recited at a rally:
"Minarets are our bayonets
Domes are our helmets
Mosques are our barracks
Believers are our soldiers"
Wow, that's beautiful. It almost makes me want to join his army. Almost.
But seriously, folks, what's up with this guy? He thinks he's the new sultan of the Ottoman Empire or something. He wants to expand his influence in the Middle East and beyond. He even has his eyes on Libya now. Libya! What does he want with Libya? Oil? Sand? Camels?
I don't get it. Why can't he just chill out and enjoy his life? He has a nice palace, a loyal wife, and millions of followers. He should be happy. But no, he has to go around messing with other countries and oppressing his own people.
He's like a kid who never grew up. He never learned to share, to compromise, to respect others. He just wants more and more and more. He's greedy, selfish, and power-hungry.
He needs a reality check. He needs someone to tell him the truth. He needs me.
So here's my message to Erdogan: Hey buddy, you're not a sultan. You're not a prophet. You're not a hero. You're just a man. A flawed, insecure, paranoid man.
You're not fooling anyone with your fake democracy and your fake religion. You're not making Turkey great again. You're making it worse.
You're not leading your people to glory. You're leading them to disaster.
You're not the solution. You're the problem.
And you know what? You can kiss my ass.
Thank you very much.
Originariamente Scritto da GenghisKhan
Skynet si avvicina...
Permessi di Scrittura
Rispondi Citando
