Brutta storiaccia che al momento conoscono solo gli utenti VIPS (tipo ciovas) ma che mi sento ora di condividere anche con voi

tl;dr: Un pazzo che vive nel mio palazzo a Parigi ha lasciato a me e alla mia fanciulla (che è giudea) un bel post-it antisemita sulla porta di casa. Esce fuori che il pazzo mi ha stalkerato e ha fatto foto di me e della mia porta di casa. Seguono indagini della police.

PROLOGO: Vivo da circa un anno nella ridente Paris, droide protocollare 56-bis in evil corp, RAL di giada e pelo di vergine che 3/4 se ne va per comprare due baguette di gomma. Sono qui principalmente perchè a un certo punto ho deciso di quittare la vita del gaio pompinaro e trovarmi la fidanzatina. Ho trovato la mia dolce compagna parigina mentre mi dilettavo nella SCHERMA STORICAtm, e abbiamo anche fatto un pupo. La mia lei, che chiameremo Giuditta, pariginissima con tanto di berrette, appartiene alla comunità ebraica della capitale. Onde per cui, anche il pupo secondo le leggi di Abramo Isacco e Tutancamon è ipso facto giudio. Viviamo in un quartiere "problematico". Negli anni '60 ci vivevano solo gli ebrei e i francesi purosangue, ed era tipo una Saint Tropez coi cavalli con cravatta e kippa. Poi arrivarono svariate ondate di risorse che arricchirono culturalmente il posto così tanto che è ora considerato la Scampia / Detroit di Parigi. Ci viviamo appunto perchè la comunità ebraica è qui. Ma tale comunità è sotto assedio, numerico e non solo, e più nuovi paga-pensioni arrivano più gli ebrei fan fagotto e se la svignano in Israele. Lei è attaccata alla sua cultura ma non in maniera ortodossa/problematica, e vivere a Parigi per noi era sempre stata solo una fase momentanea prima di tornare e stabilirci in Italia. Ero già in fase di colloquio avanzato con svariate aziende della solità italietta, ed il fattaccio che mi è successo mi ha confermato che porcobadile ho fatto bene anzi benissimo e prima ci togliamo da sto posto demmerda meglio è

Veniamo ai fatti, che copincollerò da FB perchè fa caldo e nu c'ho voglia di tradurre:

14 Agosto



We went with the little one to the lake to make him see the swans, the ducks and the carps. We came back and found this on our door. The comedy in the tragedy being, this piece of shit managed to ass 1 swastika out of 2. When you're too moron to even manage some basic hate crime...




15 Agosto


Here our alternative August 15th.
We know who Mr. Conard is. He's a 35/40 years old guy living in our same complex building, unemployed, often drunk, clear mental problems, he had tried to provoke me into a fight for no apparent reason before, but since I am a father now I had always noped hard and walked away. Sorry to burst you the Paris magic bubble, we live in a "rough" neighbourhood, there are unfortunately many subjects like him around.

Other day, after he left us the little cadeau, we went straight to the police. At the beginning they listened to us with timid interest, and offered to file an "open report", which is the french equivalent of "Let me just type that up on my invisible typewriter". The greatest moron in the French police since inspector Clouseau asked us: "Since he put it on the building's door how can you say it was for you??" Giuditta yelled at him that we are the only Jewish tenants. Five minutes later, the same fuckwit looks us straight in the eyes and tells us -I shit you not!- "But have you considered that in some cultures swastikas are a symbol of peace??". I reply with as much calm as possible that we are in a Paris ghetto, not in Nepal. I think Giuditta was very close to go to the car and take the Radaelli in the trunk. Then someone's phone rings and they get THE CALL. I can't tell who was calling (no, it wasn't Macron) but the moment they come back they are now going full Kennedy assassination level of commitment into it. They scrap the report or whatever and launch a full investigation into this thing.

We go home. Giuditta decides to get the guy's name by employing some MOSSAD level of counter-intelligence, ie she checks the moron's letter box. She then go for a FB check. His name is unfortunately very common, so I tell her to drop it, but she is stubborn. Luckily. After 20 namesakes, she finds him. And almost gets a heart attack. The guy's profile has 0 friends, random jihad bullshit, and a handful of pics. There are pictures of me walking down the street, go without saying, taken without my consent or knowledge. In comment he calls me "a jewish spy terrorist" and -funny enough- a "sodomite". Quick reminder, I'm not jewish lol.

Then -much much much worse- pictures of our home door. Not the door of the building, where he left his moronic paper, but the actual door of our apartment. Then we check better. Actually no. He didn't take pics of our home door, but of our neighbor's! Somehow he knows which floor we live on, but not the exact apartment. Which is even worse, because it also means a totally unrelated family is now in danger. All these pics are still public on his FB profile. When we found out that he came as close as to our door, it was around midnight, and the baby was already sleeping soundly. Rather than venturing out, we just barricated ourselves inside, trusting our home's ratio of 2.5 swords per person. As said, we didn't sleep much nor good.
Of course, this morning we moved the baby out and went straight to the police. If before there was any shade of doubt about this guy being the author of antisemitic paper, by now it has been cleared...thanks to the evidence this deranged individual himself provided us.

As I write, the guy is hopefully about to get packaged and questioned by some french antiterrorism brigade. I suspect & hope they won't go light on him.